As a self-employed expat and a mum, the summer holidays can be a challenging time. On the one hand, there’s the thrill of flying back home, catching up with family and friends, and watching my child reconnect with his roots. On the other, there’s the constant pressure of keeping up with work commitments, meeting deadlines, and ensuring that I don’t drop the ball for my clients and partners—all while navigating the chaos of the summer holidays back in the UK.
Finding the elusive balance: Family vs. Work
When I first started working for myself, I rather naively imagined that I would be able to return home for the entire summer, visiting all of my friends and family and taking part in all the things I had missed. However, reality quickly set in. My work doesn’t come to a halt just because I’ve crossed a few time zones. However, prior to having children, it was a lot more manageable – I could stop and work whenever I needed to, and simply pick up where I had left off once the deadlines were met. Once I had my son, things became even more tricky, now it is no longer simply my time, wants and needs that need to be managed – and there is a clear need to be present for my family during this time.
Striking a balance between family time and work is a challenge that’s easier said than done. In theory, it’s as simple as setting aside a couple of weeks as official holiday, and then a few hours each day to work, and devoting the rest to family. In practice, this is far more complex. My toddler, ecstatic to be at his nanny’s house, can’t understand why mummy is glued to her laptop instead of joining him in his play – and he shows this by gate-crashing every conference Teams call, starting in depth conversations whenever I get on the phone, and wrestling to close my laptop whenever my concentration is directed away from him. My family, eager to spend as much time as possible with us, often don’t understand why a work email can’t be dealt with later.
To cope, I’ve had to become a lot more flexible and disciplined. My son is an early riser, particularly when in other peoples’ homes, so getting work done early is not an option. I resign myself to tackling my most pressing tasks in the evening when my son has gone to bed. I’m not always at my most productive at this time, but it means I can go to bed and wake the following day in the right frame of mind, knowing that everything has been checked and dealt with (or set up for the following day). After a morning of play or a trip out, when everyone is likely to be having a rest and some downtime, I use the time to double check emails or jump on a video call with clients. Prioritising my workload has become essential—deciding what absolutely must be done today and what can wait until tomorrow.
Wrestling with guilt
Guilt is a constant companion on these trips. When I’m working, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my family. When I’m with my family, I feel guilty for not keeping on top of my work. It’s a tricky tightrope to walk, and I’ve had to learn to cut myself some slack. I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances, and that it’s okay if things aren’t perfect.
One strategy that has helped ease this guilt is not hiding away and trying to ‘involve’ my son in my work life where possible. I explain what I’m doing and why. Sometimes, I’ll let him sit with me while I work, giving him a quiet activity like colouring to do alongside me (or simply dishing out the snacks!)– and he even jumps on some of the more informal calls and says hello to clients I have good relationships with. This way, he feels included, and I still get to spend some time with him, even if it’s not in the way he’d prefer.
Embracing flexibility
Flexibility has become my lifeline. When you’re working remotely during a holiday, you have to accept that things will inevitably go awry. The Wi-Fi will drop out in the middle of an important video call, a meticulously planned work session will be interrupted by an impromptu family gathering, or your child will suddenly need your undivided attention.
Rather than getting frustrated, I’ve learned to adapt. I’ve become adept at working in less-than-ideal conditions—taking calls in the car while parked outside the shops, or editing documents on my phone while sitting in the park. I’ve also found that being upfront with clients about my situation helps. Most people are understanding when they know you’re doing your best to juggle work and family.
The silver lining: Perspective and gratitude
Despite the challenges, working during a summer visit back home definitely has its perks and I wouldn’t change it. It gives me a fresh perspective and reminds me why I work in the first place. Watching my son explore the places I loved as a child, seeing his joy as he listens to stories from our families, and sharing in the simple pleasures of home, nature and British culture—all of these experiences recharge me in ways that a complete break from work never could.
Ultimately, the key to surviving—and even thriving—the summer holidays as a working mum and a visiting expat is to: Embrace the chaos, remain flexible, and find contentment in the small moments. It’s not about getting everything right; it’s about finding a balance that works for you and your family, and being fully present in whatever you’re doing, whether that’s a work meeting or a family day out. These are the memories that will sustain me when I’m back in Riyadh and counting down the days until the next visit home!
